One of the greatest reality TV moments of all time. S/O to better days of MTV and the legend Puff Daddy. This makes more sense with the playlist featured at the end…
Endings aren’t meant to be easy. Leaving one thing to start another is often exhilarating, terrifying, and extremely saddening all at the same time.
“But you get to leave…”
These are words, spoken to us during our orientation last August (!!) have stuck with me throughout the course of my year here in Scotland. I’ve had my return flight booked since November. The YAV Program lasts for 11 months. Pretty clear cut time lines. Which in life, seem to happen very rarely. The amount of time and it’s clarity have totes been a comfort to me in the year full of uncertainty, fast and slow-paced changes and not a lot of hyper-organized structure (I’m obviously rethinking my love and adoration for the latter as for some reason I keep running towards things that are definitely not, lol).
If I’m being honest, I’ve been ready for the end of this YAV year for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I will always cherish this experience. This year has been absolutely bonkers. I’m not sure if I yet have the words to begin to tell some of how I’ve felt about some of what I’ve experienced. I will say that the thing I’ve missed most about home is a sense of familiarity. Smells, sights, sounds and people that I’m used to. I often feel way out of my element here, a feeling that is uncomfortable and shakes my confidence more than I’m maybe willing to admit…
On a similar yet unrelated note on endings, the YAVs did a super cool and wonderful thing yesterday. We had the opportunity to make a silk print yesterday. We have encountered these beautiful and awe inspiring works in the various places we work. Pauline who works for the Transformation Team in the Priority Areas office led us in the process I can only describe as transcribing the stories from our year using silk. Pauline has led workshops doing these silk prints in churches and groups all over. It was such a wonderful process. Thanks Pauline! We love love love ya! We were also joined by Carolina Trevino who is the YAV site coordinator for the Austin site.
So here’s a breakup playlist of sorts. Songs about endings, relationships and some stuff in-between. Falling in love with a place and people who you know you have to leave does feel a little bit like ending a romantic relationship. So I may have found myself in some state while making this playlist. Also I was listening to the 2003 masterpiece album Confessions by Usher….